In my twenties I definitely had an attitude of I know best. When in reality I can look back now and realise that my twenties were my biggest learning curve because I literally knew nothing.
It’s the time in our lives when we f*ck up the most and we need to, because it’s also the time when we can afford to. There’s time to say sorry, there’s time to reassess, there’s time to make changes, there’s time to grow and learn.
Would I re-do my twenties exactly as they were? No. But not because of the mistakes I made, but because of the choices I didn’t make when I should have.
Advice I Would Give My 22 Year Old Self
1. Don't Waste Time On Social Media
Unless you are making money from Social Media, it is a time suck and bad for your mental health. I quit Facebook a long time ago and my mental wellbeing has been better for it. Instead of aimlessly scrolling through pointless videos, you can spend your time in a much healthier and productive way. If you are looking for inspiration to quit, you should read my post, Deleting Social Media Made Me Happier. You Should Too.
2. Nor Should You Take Social Media Seriously
If you are going to use social media, don’t take it for face value. No ones life is that good, and those ‘likes’ don’t account for anything. Comparing yourself to people you see in Instagram is only going to lead to self doubting and self loathing. If you are on social media, ‘follow’ your friends and accounts that are worthwhile, not some random girl that posts her gym sessions and tells you to eat more Spirulina.
3. You Don't Need To Be Friends With Everyone
It’s okay if you don’t like everyone you meet and you aren’t always going to. Since I started travelling, I come across a lot of people. Some of them were only in my life for a few weeks and have never spoken since, and that’s okay.
It’s also important to pick your friends wisely in your twenties, a lot of people are immature and don’t have your best interests at heart.
4. Get Clued Up On Money
Frustratingly, learning about money and finances is something not taught at school which seems crazy to me seeing considering it’s what makes the world go round. No one taught me about the importance of a credit score, how to manage money, what to do with savings, budgeting etc.
Thankfully, I am okay with money but even to this day I am still not sure what the best options are for your savings and it can get very confusing. It feels like a taboo topic but don’t let it be, I wish I had asked more questions and done more research when I was in my twenties.
5. You Can't Please Everyone
We talk about this A LOT in our Suddenly Thirty blog. I was a people pleaser throughout all of my twenties; Taking jobs I didn’t want to because I was told I should. Not travelling because my parents advised against it. Staying with boyfriends longer than I should have. That is all lost time I cannot get back.
6. If It's Not Going To Matter In 5 Years...
Then don’t spend more than 5 minutes being upset by it. This is really hard to grasp when you are younger, because everything in your life seems like a bigger deal than it actually is. But if you can try and live by this method of thinking and see the bigger picture, it will help you to understand and spend time on things that are actually important.
7. Try To See Your Parents POV
They aren’t trying to ruin your life on purpose, even though it can feel like that. Parents usually have our best interests at heart. And I can remember my parents saying to me, you’ll understand when you have kids one day. 10+ years later and although I don’t have kids, I definitely understand better now where they were coming from in trying to protect me.
This doesn’t mean parents always know best, they definitely don’t. My parents didn’t want me to travel, you can read about that in my post, Dealing With Parents That Don’t Want You To Travel, but it has turned out to be the best thing I have ever done. It can be a hard balance when it comes to our parents, the most important thing is communication.
8. No One Has Their Life Figured Out
Even in my thirties I still don’t have my life figured out and my Dad, in his 60s, would probably say the same thing. The sooner you accept that you might never have your life figured out, the happier and more content you will be. The world is constantly evolving and many aspects of our life which are, in fact, out of our control such as relationships and jobs can change in an instant. You think you are on one path, then you get made redundant and you need to find a new path.
My advice would be to try everything; hobbies, jobs, travelling, you have nothing to lose in your twenties. It will help you figure out what you like and don’t like, which ultimately leads to having a better understanding yourself.
9. Don't Expect To Be Married With Kids At 30
Even up to the age of about 25 I was fully convinced that in my late twenties/early thirties I just assumed I would be married, have a house and be thinking about kids when I was 30. How wrong I was. I am not even sure if that’s what I wanted when I was in my twenties, but everyone older than me had that life so I assumed that would be my path too. How wrong I was and I am so glad my life hasn’t turned out like that.
That might happen to you and it might be exactly what you want, and if so then that’s great, but don’t except it.
10. Leave Your Home Town
We grow so much as a person when we push ourselves outside of our comfort zone and experience what the rest of the world has to offer. Whether you leave for a month to travel, or settle more permanently somewhere for a year, you realise there is so much more to life than what is happening in your little bubble and helps put things into perspective. This will be your biggest learning curve and I can’t stress the importance of this point enough.
Travelling on your own doesn’t have to mean on your own, there are plenty of group travel experiences for solo travellers for you twenty somethings, check out under30experiences.com.
Whilst travelling in Bali, I recently moved to a new guest house and met some 22 year olds. Although it would be nice to still have that 22 year old body, at no point did I wish I could be that age again, and conversing with them made me realise how much they still have to learn.
Following on from this post, I recommend you also read; 3 Major Things You Need To Learn Before Your Thirties, which touches on the importance of learning to communicate, discovering your interests and not being a ‘Yes’ person.
Hopefully us thirty somethings, can help you get ahead of the game and live your best life.
Amber x