3 Major Things You Need To Learn Before 30

They say the older you get the wiser you are. The frustrating thing about that is when you gain the wisdom, you wish you could go back to being your younger self and actually benefit from your new found knowledge. It is too late for me, but for any of you still in your 20s or younger, here are the 3 Major Things You Need To Learn Before 30, that you can start working on today.

How To Communicate
The Importance of Protecting Your Space
What Lights You Up

#1 How To Communicate

The older I get the more I realise communication is the key to everything in life. And it is a skill, meaning we can work on it and improve it. Communication is an extremely broad topic in itself so if I could go back in time I would start with improving my ability to listen and resolve conflict.

Listening

Being able to really listen allows us to understand more. We are able to understand the people around us and we are able to understand the world around us. From there we are able to navigate our path through life much easier. And once we learn to actually listen better, the next stage is to start demonstrating our listening.

This may sound ridiculous but people crave to be heard. If we are able to show people that they are heard, we improve all of our romantic relationships, friendships and even our professional relationships. Being a good listener makes you someone that people want to be around. And being well liked, genuinely well liked, is all upside.

Conflict Resolution

All of us know what it is like to be involved in a conflict of some kind and very few people really enjoy that situation. Being in a conflict be it with your family, your friends, your partner or people at work is usually a negative and draining experience. However often conflict cannot be avoided and instead needs to be dealt with.

Working on this throughout your 20s will elevate you and make your life a lot easier as you get older. Very often, needless conflict is a great source of stress and concern for people which can really bring us down. Learn to handle conflict. Learn to have that difficult conversation instead of avoiding it at all costs and watch your life improve dramatically.

#2 The Importance of Protecting YOUR Space

Many of us go through our 20s as “People Pleasers”. Whether we like to admit it or not, we make a lot of choices that focus on pleasing others rather than ourselves. We end up making choices and doing things that drain us.

Over time this means we give a lot of our energy away and we don’t have much left for ourselves. This is not sustainable and can lead to serious strain on our mental health. It is a pretty easy skill to develop once you are aware of it.

Protecting your space is quite simply ensuring that you are making time for your own needs.

But How?

There are many well documented and popular ways to do this at the moment such as practicing mindfulness through meditation, journaling (I love this simple but effective 6 Minute Diary) or developing some breathing exercises (check out Wim Hof Method). I understand that these examples may not be for everyone however I urge you to find something that does work for you. For me though, there is one that is even more simple than all of those and that is getting comfortable saying no and taking time out for myself. This sounds incredibly simple but it is really important.

#3 What Lights You Up

This is closely related to my previous point about saying no to things you don’t want to do. It leaves more time and money for you to indulge in YOUR interests. That way you can find out what lights you up, what you really enjoy. We won’t know what we really enjoy unless we do some trial and error. Our 20s is usually our first real opportunity to make our own choices (outside of our family influences).

Many of us go through our 20s so busy living in groups with friends that we don’t know what we actually enjoy. It is important to take time to indulge fully in our own interests to help us to know what we do and do not enjoy. This may mean doing things alone which is why it can be difficult. but it is a skill in itself. If I could turn back time I would have taken time out of my busy social schedule to indulge in my own interests to figure out what I do and don’t enjoy. If you don’t know where to start, this might help: 5 Hobbies You Need To Have In Your Thirties.

But Why?

It is quite obvious to say but as we get older, we have to deal with more ‘adult’ situations. These can often require high levels of communication and conflict resolution. It makes things a whole lot easier to show up to the conversation already equipped with these skills instead of trying to learn them on the fly.

Similarly, indulging in your own interests is very much a choice in your 20s but as you learn to walk your own path in your 30s it can be a vital skill. Social circles start to change as we approach 30. Some people are in romantic relationships, getting married and having families. Others are embarking on solo travel adventures and others are focusing on their career which can often lead them to living in lonely cities with few friends.

Conclusion

Knowing yourself and what you are interested in can really make these transitions a lot easier. These are just three things I wish I had learned sooner but of course, I am working on them now. Do you agree with my list? If you have any more to add, please share them in the comments below!