For some people, being single can come and go in a flash, and before you know it you’re back in a relationship. For other people, the closest thing to commitment for most their adult life is a trusty vibrator. Whichever way your life plays out, have you considered how to make the most out of your time as a single person? It wasn’t something I contemplated UNTIL I was with my boyfriend and wishing I had made the most of my time being single.
For starters, if it’s happy hour and the Espresso Martini’s are 2 for 1 but you have no one to share them with… get them anyway! We’re not here to judge. Now, here are the 3 things I wish I had told my old single self.
1. The World Is Your Oyster
This might be the LAST time you ever single… Now I am in a committed relationship, I wish I had reminded myself of this. Of course there is always a chance I will be single again but that’s not the aim of being in a relationship right. I should have made more of an effort with my single life.
Singledom is the time to be selfish, prioritise you, spend your time doing what you want to. Get your life to the place you want it to be. Because at some point, someone is going to come along and you’ll start having to make compromises.
In my post, How To Make The Most Out Of Getting Dumped I talk about how realising and being selfish is a great way to help you manage a break up. There’s no better time to be selfish. So what are the benefits of embracing singledom?
– Whether it’s your choice to be single or not, you might as well enjoy it. When you’re enjoying life, chances are you’ll be a happier person.
– As mentioned already, you might never be single again! Live your single life to the full and make the most of it, this could be your last chance.
– You get to do whatever the hell you want! Even I’m jealous of that. You can take your life in any direction, what are you waiting for?
2. Date Yourself
‘Being single sucks… I don’t have anyone to take me to the new Spiderman movie.’ Yes you do, it’s you! Take yourself.
We all have to get more comfortable with being on our own. I don’t just mean being single, I mean going to dinner on your own, attending a gig alone, travelling solo. I have only recently started doing these things since being in a relationship and I so badly wish I’d had the courage to do them when I was single. But I was too self conscious about being seen alone and judged, which is dumb because no one actually cares about what you are doing. Here’s why you should date yourself:
– You’ll gain independence, confidence and push yourself outside of your comfort zone.
– You need to normalise this for your sake and everyone else’s.
– Because you enjoy doing these things! There’s no reason why those activities have to be strictly reserved for a partner.
– You’ll live a more fulfilling life.
– You’ll love yourself even more for it and who knows what you might learn about yourself along the way.
And if you need any more convincing on why you should spend time on your own, read our posts: Why Spending Time Alone Is The Ultimate Flex.
hopefully you are now feeling inspired to travel solo. This was one of the best experiences I did and would highly recommend The Solo Female Traveler Network, you can meet like-minded women and plan your next adventure.
3. Be Self-Sufficient
Never rely on anyone else because they might not always be there. This is something I should have learnt when I was with my ex who then broke up with me. I didn’t realise how much emotional reliance I had put on him until he was gone. By that time it was too late and this was something I had to figure out for myself. Whether you’re in a relationship or single, start having this mindset of being self-sufficient.
You need to be the one to pick yourself up when you’re down. Set yourself up so you’re only financially reliant on you. Be responsible for your own orgasms. Have your own group of friends around you. If you can get these things from a partner as well, it should be an added bonus. Independence is vital whether you are single or in a relationship and it’s incredibly empowering. You will also realise once you are in a relationship you don’t NEED that person, but you WANT that person.
The time when we are single is ideal for refection, self development and personal growth. We have the space to be 100% authentically ourselves without outside influence. Our lives can change significantly when there’s someone else to involve, consider and share our space with. Use your single time wisely, like I wish I had done.
If you’re in a relationship, what would you tell your old single self? Or if you’re currently flying solo, share your biggest learn to help others.
Amber x
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