Your 30s are a weird time. You’re coming out of that young, free and fun stage where you can mostly get away with anything because you’re still experiencing life and growing as a person.
Then all of a sudden, you turn 30 and you’re meant to have your shit together. I mean by societies standards of having your shit together. Basically, if you haven’t got a life plan from now until you die, then you’re failing your thirties. And your plan better include marriage, kids, career, house and maybe a dog or two.
Except if you haven’t got all of this figured out, you’re not failing. If in fact you are living your life exactly as you want to, then you’re actually winning at life! I’ve been in my thirties for a little while now and can proudly say, I do not tick any of the conventional boxes. In fact, I did a whole post on: How To Fail Your Thirties And Still Be Happy.
Whether you do want children, don’t want children, want to get married, want to stay single forever, it doesn’t actually matter. So here’s what I say; f*ck what society tells us we should do and f*ck you to anyone who says this to us:
30 Things Your Should NEVER Say To Me Or Any Other Woman In Their 30s
- Isn’t it time you settled down?
- When are you going to have kids?
- When are you going to get married?
- Aren’t you too old to be doing that?
- Why don’t you focus on your career?
- Shouldn’t you be saving your money?
- When are you going to buy a house?
- What are you doing with your life?
- You should freeze your eggs to be on the safe side.
- Why don’t you want children?
- Why do you want children?
- You can’t just quit your career and go travelling.
- Work can’t be your whole life.
- But he’s such a nice guy, why don’t you give him a second chance?
- You’ve lost a lot of weight.
- Aren’t you lonely?
- You shouldn’t be spending your money on that.
- You shouldn’t have an abortion.
- Is this your life now? You’re just going to leave and then come back and then leave again? (An actual quote from my Mum about my nomadic lifestyle)
- Are you thinking about the future?
- You’ll find Mr. Right someday (You don’t have to find Mr. Right if you don’t want to)
- Have you thought about adoption?
- Is it safe for you to travel on your own? (Is it safe to go anywhere these days? No, but we can’t just sit at home)
- What do you have to show for yourself at your age?
- Shouldn’t you be with someone your own age?
- You need to take life a bit more seriously.
- You could do better.
- Isn’t your biological clock is ticking?
- What are you going to do when you’re 70 and all alone?
- Aren’t you too old to be trying drugs/getting a tattoo/getting a piercing?
It's None Of Your Business
It is perfectly acceptable to respond to any of these with; “It’s none of your business.” Because it really isn’t anyones business. The decisions you make in your life impact you and (hopefully) no one else, therefore it’s your choice how you live your life.
Sadly, a lot of these questions are real-life examples I have been asked. I can remember when I was 20 and being around my boyfriends older brother and his wife and thinking, “okay so by the time I am 27 I will probably be married and have a house too” I mean LOL at 27 I was single and rented a flat with my friend, but I was living my best life.
We don’t have to justify our actions to anyone and your 30s are when you start to realise you aren’t getting any younger. Therefore we need to live our life how we want to and do what makes US happy. If you are someone that struggles to live your life authentically because society or other people are holding you back, give this a read: Courage: The Joy of Living Dangerously.
Let me know in the comments if you’ve had any other ‘non-of-your-business‘ life questions?
Amber x