Being a People Pleaser or having a People Pleaser personality gets a bad rep. I would know because my friends and family have always used this term to describe me. And it’s never used in a positive way:
‘You need to stop being such a people pleaser’
‘You need to stand up for yourself.’
‘Why don’t you say something if you don’t agree?’
This characteristic goes hand in hand with my overly sensitive personality (which is not always a bad trait to have either, and you can read about this in my post: Your Too Sensitive Personality Is Actually Your Superpower). I’m not suggesting that if you have one of these traits you’ll 100% have the other too, but I would say that being a sensitive person is linked to being a people pleaser, do you agree?
What Is A People Pleaser?
Essentially the phrase People Pleaser is a made up term and can be used and interpreted in different ways. After a quick google search I found varying definitions, some positive and some not so positive. But at the end of the day we all know it’s not a term of endearment when used. So I went with Cambridge Dictionary’s definition:
“Someone who cares a lot about whether other people like them, and always wants others to approve of their actions.”
I don’t completely agree with this statement and I believe there are more layers to this personality type (wait a minute, did I disagree with something? That goes against my people pleaser personality!). We all come in different shapes and sizes, even more so with our personalities and therefore it’s not a 1 size fits all statement.
Given this description and the negative stigma seemingly always attached to it, is being a People Pleaser really that bad? No and here’s why you should embrace and be proud of who you are.
4 Reasons To Be Proud Of Being A People Pleaser
1. You're Likeable
Being a People Pleaser often means you are an agreeable person. But that can be a psotive, because being agreeable can certainly make you more likeable and what’s wrong with being likeable? There are probably a lot of people wishing more people liked them. And we’ve all heard the saying that you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.
It’s no secret that you’re more likely to help someone out if you actually like the person, chances are you have a lot of people that would be willing to help you out or do you favours. What a great position to be in.
2. You Care And Make An Effort
Caring about other people is a necessity this world needs. Could you imagine a world where we only cared about ourselves? Some people require more help, love and attention than others which can be purely circumstantial and unfortunate for them. It’s in your personality type to step up to the plate and help fulfil their needs.
You have the potential to change other people’s lives through being a caring and considerate person. Just be sure not to let other people take advantage of this.
3. Seek To Resolve Conflict And Find Peace
The world could use a few more people like this. You want everyone to be happy right? And whilst this is not always achievable or always the right answer, it’s certainly not a bad thing to try and have everyone’s needs met in the most fair and peaceful way. There’s nothing wrong with wanting everyone to be happy.
4. There Are Worse Personality Traits To Have
With all the reasons I have given above, there are definitely worse personality traits someone can possess. I’ve been called a People Pleaser for most of my life and whilst I’d rather not be referred to in this way, I could be called worse. Therefore if that’s the worst characteristic you have, it’s not that bad!
If you’re worried about being a People Pleaser or tired of people using this term to describe you, don’t sweat it. You can use your People Pleaser personality as a force for good. Just be sure not to let people take advantage of you and not to give too much.
You might even say that the world needs a few People Pleasers in it! Or maybe I am just biased. What do you think?
Amber x