At some point in your life you will worry if what you’re doing and who you are is ‘normal’. It’s likely this will happen at multiple stages of your life and guess what? It happens to all of us. The good news is, that means we’re either all not normal or we’re actually all normal, because we all feel the same.
The reason we question ourselves is because society, social media, our friends and family all tell us how we should live our life. Whether that’s directly or indirectly.
I hate to use the cliche but thanks (or no thanks) to all of the above, so many of us grow up dreaming of our perfect Wedding Day, and our perfect marriage. Which puts a lot of pressure on ourselves in the time leading up to 30. Which is where this fear of being normal comes from.
So, should you be worried about being 30 and not being married? Or, what if you’re already in your 30s and still no sign of marriage? Thankfully, it’s becoming more and more normal to be 30 and never married, here’s why.
1. Marriage Is, Like, So 2010
People are realising that marriage is actually kinda outdated. In a lot of cases couples would rather buy a house or have children over getting married. And both of these are actually far more of a commitment than marriage.
You could argue that owning a house and having a mortgage with someone makes your relationship more serious than a marriage, because you have to rely on each other financially.
And it’s the same with having children, this will have a far bigger impact on your relationship than a ring on the finger.
Therefore you don’t have to get married in this day and age to show someone how you feel about that.
2. More People Are CHOOSING To Be Single Or Poly
Times are changing. We’re all having more open and honest conversations around our sexual likes, dislikes and orientation. In fact Poly relationships have seen a significant jump over the past few years thanks to the younger generation challenging the traditional relationship norm of 2 people.
Then you have all my single ladies. The ones who are embracing and loving their carefree single life and choosing to be single.
Some people don’t want the commitment of any type of relationship and that’s totally fine. And some people want to enjoy multiple relationships without the official attachment of being married.
If that’s you, then you’ll be pleased to know as a 30 something, you’re normal!
3. Have You Seen The Divorce Rates?
You will 100% know a couple who are divorced, likely multiple couples.
In 2023 the average divorce rate in the US was around 50%. That’s a flip of a coin on whether your marriage will last or not. And in the UK it was 42%. Despite a decrease in marriages, the divorce rate still remains eye-wateringly high.
And with divorce comes stress, pressure, workload and a strain on finances, because it’s legally binding. Where you can easily and swiftly elope to get married, the same cannot be done for a divorce.
More and more people don’t want the potential stress that comes with a divorce and therefore are still choosing to be in a relationship but not necessarily choosing the married life.
4. Have You Seen The COST Of A Wedding?
The average costs of a wedding in 2024 is… get ready for this… $30,000! Or for my English gals it’s £20,000 and that doesn’t include the engagement ring or honeymoon, which are the best and the most expensive parts.
What would you rather spend your money on? Your children or future children? A deposit for a house? A really f*cking nice trip around the world 3 times? The choice is yours.
A lot of people are starting to see through the fancy decor and expensive invites, so are doing something better with their money, rather than blowing it all on one day.
Not everyone has that kind of money to spend either so you may need to borrow from family, but personally, I’d rather have the cash than pay an hour for a Priest.
This is just another reason why marriage rates are falling and that’s great because it means you are totally normal if you’re in your 30s and never married.
This post is not to dismiss marriage and it’s meaning. You may still want to get married and even myself (the spinster that I am) kinda likes the idea of my boyfriend putting a ring on it. This is purely to show you that it’s completely fine and normal to be 30, or in your 30s, and never married.
If you still want to get married, that’s great! If you don’t- also fine! It is a personal choice and no matter what anyone else does or says, you have got to embrace your life and know that what you’re doing is normal for you.
If you found this post useful, you may want to read our post Is It Normal To Not Want Kids?
Amber