Why is being ‘in love’ portrayed as the be all and end all in life? Being in a relationship is great. But being single can be great too. However, that is not what society tells us. Especially as we get older, everything around us tells us that we need to find a partner. But sometimes, you are better off being single.
A lot of the time, single people wish they could find ‘The One’. And some people in relationships wonder if they’d be better off single. The grass is always greener. The truth is, there are pros and cons to both. But if you are in a relationship and you find yourself asking ‘am I better off single?’, here are 5 signs to look out for.
5 Signs YOU Are Better Off Single
Every relationship involves compromise and sacrifice. Every relationship brings with it positives that we feel so lucky to have and also some ‘negatives’ that we have to live with. It is all about balance. However there are a few key things that should never be sacrificed or damaged in a relationship. If they are, you’re better off single.
Low Confidence & Self Esteem
Firstly, confidence and self esteem should not come from our relationship or rely upon another person. We create and harness confidence and self esteem within ourselves. However our relationship should also not be a threat to our confidence and self esteem. Ideally we are already confident people and our partners and relationship should reiterate that and add to our confidence. If you have low confidence or feel as though your confidence levels have decreased or suffered during your relationship, you are better off single.
Lack of Independence & Freedom
Of course, we sacrifice some of our independence and freedom when we get into a relationship. And that is normal. However many people go too far with this and end up completely dependent on their partners. We need to be able to exist as one half of the partnership but also as an independent person.
One way to ensure this is to proactively take time away from your partner. If it is something you’d consider, check out our recent post Why It’s Healthy To Take A Break From Your Relationship. But it can also be less drastic than that. Do you have your own hobbies and friends? Do you have even a small part of your life that is independent of your partner? If not, you may be better off being single and focused on reclaiming your independence.
Not Living for Yourself
So many people find the love of their lives and then lose themselves in that relationship. Instead of living for yourself, you start doing things to please the other person, exclusively. But never forget, they fell in love with you as you were before. It can be hard to live for yourself when you want to give everything to your partner. However, it is for the good of your relationship. After all they fell in love with you. If you are no longer living for yourself, you need to address it or you might be better off single.
Envious Of Single People
If you find yourself envious of the single people in your life, it might be a sign that you are better off single. A relationship is a commitment and it is hard work. It can bring a lot of joy and happiness but it also involves effort and sacrifice. If you don’t want to be in it, and you think the grass is greener, you might be better off single and it is only fair on your partner.
Low Mood & Energy
Remember when your relationship began? Everything felt so amazing! The energy was electric. The honeymoon phase. Of course, that level of elation is not sustainable. However, if your mood is excessively low and you don’t feel energy or excitement for much anymore, it might be a sign you are better off single. Although the honeymoon phase ends, our relationships are still a source of joy and happiness. Many people fall into a rut of being together and being unhappy for no reason.
Lonely
It might be hard to believe that people in relationships can feel lonely but it’s true. And if you are in a relationship and feeling lonely, it is something that you need to question. It may be a simple conversation with your partner to address your needs. However, in general, we should not feel prolonged loneliness in a happy and healthy relationship. If you are feeling like this, you may actually be better off single.
So, Are You?
Many of the feelings I’ve discussed today are normal from time to time in a relationship. I am not suggesting that you should end your relationship as soon you notice one of these signs. However, they are worth considering. If you are feeling a few of these for a prolonged period of time, perhaps it is time to have a conversation with your partner to try to resolve them.
And if that doesn’t work, you might be better off single. Being single is better than being in the wrong relationship. And the feelings described above can be indications that the relationship is not right for you. But people fear being single so much that they choose to remain unhappy instead. Be brave enough to challenge it and to walk away if it is right for you. You might just be happier because of it.
If you want to dive deeper into the topic of balanced and healthy relationships, you may enjoy content from Matthew Hussey and/or Esther Perel. Let us know what you think.