6 Suprisingly Easy Ways to Maintain Boundaries At Work

I’m a firm believer that “You get what you accept not what you deserve.” In a nutshell, that is why I wholeheartedly believe in teaching people how to treat you.These days we are calling this “Setting boundaries”. Usually we hear about people setting boundaries in their personal lives with their friends, families and romantic partners. There is another relationship that could benefit from boundaries and that is the relationships you have at work.

Arguably, boundaries are as important if not more, at work because we are also dealing with different levels of seniority and the associated power dynamic. This adds a layer of complexity which can make it difficult to set and maintain those boundaries however today we will talk about 6 surprisingly easy ways to maintain boundaries at work.

What Are Boundaries At Work?

Firstly, what are boundaries at work. Like every other kind, boundary setting at work simply means defining your limits, beyond which you are not comfortable. Or to put it simply the ‘rules’ for your relationships with others. There are things you are willing to accept, and things you simply are not.

Some common work boundaries may include but are not limited to your working hours, the volume of work you are expected to and reasonably able to take on, timeline to deliver projects and your scope of responsibilities. Very often these are actually set out when you begin the job but in many cases, they evolve far beyond what you originally agreed. And that can be fine, to a point. But there also comes a point when we need to draw a line.

Why Are They Important?

As previously stated, we teach people how to treat us and what to expect by what we accept. Early in my career I had a close working relationship with a senior member of the team. He was based in another office so didn’t physically see what I was doing. He had a lot of influence on my success or failure therefore I prioritised his requests so that in turn he would help me to be successful.

Although very busy, whenever I had a request from him, I would pause my other work and respond immediately. About six months into our working relationship, he had some meetings in my office and opted to sit next to me. At the end of his trip he shared something with me that really highlighted the importance of boundaries at work for me.

He told me that due to the fact that I had always replied so promptly, he assumed I was not busy and therefore requested more of me than he otherwise would. Upon realising the volume of work I was undertaking he assured me he would request less and accept a longer lead time to delivery. However it was not his fault, I taught him to expect an immediate reply. I did not set any boundaries with him. My mistake but a valuable lesson.

How Do I Go About Setting Boundaries At Work?

So how do we go about setting boundaries at work? Well it is worth noting boundaries are not a tick the box exercise. If you are reading this and you can’t think of any areas where you need to set boundaries, then maybe you are lucky, and you don’t need to. I doubt it though. Boundaries are personal to each individual person depending on how we work and what makes us tick.

In order to set your boundaries at work, think about areas you have challenges. A friend of mine was really struggling with a manager who would call her out of the blue multiple times each day (during remote working). The challenge was that the issue could have been resolved in 2 minutes but the call often lasted up to an hour. This meant that she was working late to complete her work, due to these interruptions. She needed to set a boundary.

In my opinion we should always start by giving people the benefit of the doubt. Choosing to believe that if you ask for it, it will happen. This means she needed to ask him to send an email for non urgent requests. Of course he agreed but also ignored this. The next step was to miss his calls intentionally.

My friend really struggled in this area. However by teaching him that he couldn’t catch her on the phone, he ended up following up with an email request that took 2 minutes to deal with. Over time he reverted to email. Similarly if you set a boundary that you don’t work outside of office hours – you need to then not answer calls and emails after hours.

6 Surprisingly Easy Ways To Maintain Them

As we can see from the above example the challenge with boundaries is not usually in setting them but maintaining them. And usually we are our own worst enemies in this case. We also need to respect the boundaries we set. It can be difficult but if you follow these 6 steps you will find it a lot easier (with time and consistency).

Set Expectations

As always when dealing with fellow human beings, we are not mind readers (mostly!). When something that we are not comfortable with is happening, it is our responsibility to communicate this. We must take the initiative to set the expecatation on what is reasonable. In my earlier example, if my friend simply stopped taking her managers calls, questions would rightly be asked.

The first step to setting and maintaining a boundary is to set expectations; with your work hours, your workload or whatever else you are having an issue with. I’d go one step further to say also get buy in from the person/people you are setting the boundary with. Get them to agree that your expectation is reasonable.

Be Realistic

To make some sweeping generalist statements I’d say no one wants to work extra hours and everyone has to go above and beyond from time to time. Remember to be realistic and include compromise when you are setting expectations. Leave some margin for error and some room for compromise, to the degree you are comfortable. But remember, it will be easier to maintain this boundary for all involved if it is realistic.

Be Assertive

This is where a lot of people fall down as this can be quite challenging for people who assertiveness does not come naturally. But just because you weren’t born with it doesn’t mean you can’t learn it. Remembering why you set the boundary in the first place will help here. Usually it is for the greater good and remember it is also realistic.

This will help you to stay strong and push back when people challenge your boundary. As hard as it is, do not cave in as soon as someone oversteps your boundary, instead reaffirm it. It could be as simple as receiving a 5.25pm request and instead of doing it right then, reply “I will get to this first thing tomorrow”.

Deliver Quality Work

Sometimes employees worry that setting and maintaining boundaries will make them seem like they are less productive or less dedicated to the job. And this is why they cave in at the first opportunity and actually break their own boundary. Commit to delivery quality work at all times, including always delivering what you say you will, when you say you will.

The quality of your work and your level of dedication cannot be questioned. And people in general appreciate people who do what they say they are going to do over people who promise things and then don’t deliver. Always be proud of what you put your name on.

Offer A Solution With Every Challenge

There will be challenges within the process. And at the beginning, unknowingly people will challenge your boundaries. That is simply because it takes time for people to adapt to change. There is no malice. So for every challenge you encounter, communicate it. And go one step further and make sure that you offer a proposed solution for every challenge. This encourages people to meet you half way.

Admit When You Are Wrong

As with everything in life, you will make mistakes in this journey. Don’t be afraid to admit when you are wrong. There is strength in vulnerability, even at work. Admitting your mistakes allows your colleagues to see you are human and evokes a more empathetic response. This makes it easier to find a path back to a solution that is beneficial for both parties. You may not end up exactly where you wanted but you will be in a better place than where you started.

What boundaries do you need to set at work? What challenges do you forsee? For those of you who have been through this, what advice do you have for those about to embark on this journey? We get what we accept. Try pushing back and see what happens – let us know how you get on in the comments! Good luck!