Don’t Worry | No One Gives A F*ck About You

“You have a fat face like a piggy. The weight suits you” said my Grandmother, clearly un-phased by the weight (excuse the pun) of the insult she had just delivered. Have you ever had an elderly neighbour or grandparent who says and does what they want, without a care in the world? Maybe they seem old, grumpy and rude.

However, over their 80+ years of life, they have realised something really important. No one gives a f*ck about you. We are not special. No one is thinking about us as much as we are thinking about ourselves. And provided we are not hurting others, no one really gives a f*ck what we say or do.

No One Actually Cares..

The younger we are, the more we worry about what other people think. We all know this. But I don’t think we ever really think about the true impact of that. It is deeply rooted inside our subconscious. I am not a psychology or neuroscience expert, but it feels like it is part of the human make up. Therefore, I assume we will always care just a little bit. And that is okay. But realising that everyone around you, is only thinking about themselves might help you to worry a little less about what they think of you. In fact, they are not even thinking about you.

What a liberating thought? No one actually cares. Let’s rejoice. Here are some examples of things you might worry about, that no one gives a f*ck about:

What you are wearing
Where you are going on holiday
What job you have
Which restaurant you had dinner in last week
How you are living your life
Where you are living
Who you are spending time with
What you said at 11.14pm on Friday night
Whether or not you attend Friday work drinks
Which lipstick you choose
How big your house is
How old your car is
What you name your dog

..And That Is Okay

In truth the list is endless. For any example you can give me, I can confidently say, no one gives a f*ck. The only time when this is not true, is when it impacts them personally or if you are hurting someone else. I hope most of us are not taking actions to hurt others so we can park that one.

But if no one gives a f*ck about you, does that mean you are not loved? Or cared for? Does it mean you are doing something wrong? No, it actually doesn’t reflect on you at all. No one gives a f*ck about you, because they are too busy thinking about themselves.

We Are All Insecure

We all have insecurities, that is part of life. However, like you, other people are usually caught up on their own insecurities. No one is thinking about how you looked at the Christmas party because they are worrying about how their dress made them look.

Nobody is thinking about that one silly joke you made where no one really laughed because they are obsessing about something that they did or did not say in front of their office crush. No one gives a f*ck about you or anything you do.

Therefore, you can do whatever you like.

We Are Self Absorbed

Let’s be honest, who do you spend most of your day thinking about? Yourself. What should I wear today? Who should I meet with for lunch? I wonder what the boss thought of my presentation? We are obsessed with ourselves. We don’t have much time or energy left to think about others. Which means nobody is thinking about you.

And yes I know we all judge people therefore I know people judge us. But it is a fleeting thought. And it is something that relates to that person. Someone will judge you on how you look because they are insecure about how they look. Someone will criticise your presentation because they are insecure about their own presentation. There is a quote, which sums this up perfectly, I think it is by Denzel Washington:

“You will never be criticised by someone who is doing more than you”

We Only Care If There Is Something In It For Us

The only time people do give a f*ck about you is when they have something to gain or lose from it. Pay close attention to people who are taking a particular interest in the things you are doing. There are some people in your life who truly care about you and your wellbeing. These people form your close inner circle.

Everyone else is only interested if it affects them. So instead of worrying about what people think, investigate why they are thinking anything at all. If you can use it as an opportunity to help them as well as yourself, great. If their interest is going to have a negative impact on you, then perhaps taking a step back from them might be wise.

But Why Am I Telling You This?

This is a public service announcement for anyone who hasn’t realised it yet. It is something we all need to know and need to embrace. I’ll say it one more time for the people in the back. NO ONE GIVES A F*CK ABOUT YOU.

Embrace it, do what you want to do. Dress how you want to dress. Work where you want to work. Live how you want to live. No one else cares. If you make choices based on what other people think, the only person it will impact is you. Live how you want to live. The only person it will impact is you. And who knows, by choosing the latter, you might just end up with a happy and fulfilled life. Then you can be that carefree, rude and grumpy grandma or grandpa for the next generation of self absorbed little so and so’s.

I urge you to embrace the fact that no one gives a f*ck about you, today. Start living for yourself and never look back. If you’d like more on this topic I’d highly recommend The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck by Mark Manson or you may like some of our recent posts about following your own path: How I Embraced Being The Black Sheep Of The Family or I Stopped Explaining Myself And Here’s What Happened.