Are you living your life just a little outside of what’s seen as ‘normal’?
Maybe you’ve decided not to have children, or you prefer a life of constant travel over settling down in one place. Whatever your unique life looks like, choices like these can be deeply satisfying, yet they often lead to feelings of guilt.
Does this sound familiar?
Here’s the thing: it’s possible to overcome this guilt and fully embrace the unique path you’ve chosen. I know because I’ve been there, feeling guilty and I’ve finally figured out how to get past it.
Today, I’m talking about the 10 ways I managed to stop feeling guilty for living my life on my own terms.
Hopefully, these can be helpful for you as well.
Let’s dive in.
1. Embrace your individuality
In my early 20s I couldn’t imagine ever wanting kids, yet I assumed that I would later in my life. It wasn’t until my friends started to settle down and actually have kids that I realized, I still don’t want them. I’m a little different to most of the people in my circle.
And that’s okay, right?
Well, you might be surprised to know that research has found that people often choose to conform to group norms, even if it goes against their personal preferences. Why? Simply because they want to belong or fit in. That means that people will do things that they don’t want to do, to be part of a social group.
I don’t know about you but I think that’s crazy. One of the ways I’ve been able to stop feeling guilty for doing my own thing is to do the opposite. Instead of conforming, I choose to embrace my individuality. Instead of feeling like the odd one out for being different, I celebrate it.
If you find yourself feeling guilty for living life your way, try congratulating yourself every time you notice you’re different. Instead of feeling like you’re doing something wrong, celebrate it.
After all, following the crowd isn’t necessarily the right thing to do either, so why not embrace your individuality?
2. Choose fulfilment over short term approval
You know deep down you’re doing what’s best for you, right? Yet you feel guilty.
I get it: it’s tough to go one way when it seems like everyone else is going the other way. And you don’t want to feel like you’re letting people down.
You need to be able to remind yourself in those moments when you feel guilty, that you’re doing what’s best for you. But how?
Ask yourself “What am I more likely to regret; giving in to gain their short-term approval? Or doing what will give me long-term fulfillment? For me, long-term fulfillment wins every time.
I started to focus on what truly brought me joy and satisfaction in the long run, rather than what would earn me immediate praise or acceptance. This shift in thinking wasn’t easy, but it was crucial.
It means making decisions that feel right for you, even if they aren’t always understood or appreciated by others. The satisfaction and contentment that come from living a life true to yourself are far more rewarding than any temporary approval. Give it a try.
3. Accept you can’t please everyone
I hate to break it to you but, you can’t please everyone. It took me a while to realize this but it was a game-changer when I did. No matter what choices you make, there’ll always be someone who thinks you’re wrong.
Taylor Swift knows this better than anyone, she’s faced over a decade of scrutiny about her songwriting, her choice of men, and what she wears to name just a few. Despite all of this she ranks as the 5th most powerful woman in the world according to Forbes‘ 2023 list.
Turns out: you don’t need the approval of everyone to be mega successful and maybe just maybe, really happy. (We hope Taylor is really happy but we can’t be sure!).
I’ve come to realize that not everyone agrees with or understands my life choices and that’s okay. Accepting this brings me a sense of peace and allows me to focus more on what makes me happy, rather than constantly worrying about others’ opinions.
Remember, your life is yours to live, and seeking universal approval is a race with no finish line. Trying to meet everyone’s expectations is not only impossible, but it’s also exhausting and downright pointless.
Embracing this truth is a crucial step towards living guilt-free.
4. Set an example for your 7 year old self
Do you remember 7-year-old you? She was fearless, full of adventurous spirit, and thought anything was possible, right?
I always assumed I’d have children when I was ‘older’, why? Because that’s all I’d ever seen of women in their 20s and 30s. A motivating factor in my journey to live guilt-free was the idea of setting an example for my 7-year-old self.
I aim to live a life that shows my 7 year old self and other little girls out there, that it’s possible to live a life a little less ordinary. This perspective helps me to focus on what truly matters. It’s about more than just me but about giving the next generation what we didn’t have.
By being true to yourself, you not only find personal fulfillment but also pave the way for others, including the next generation, to pursue their unique paths without guilt.
That’s got to be worth something, right?
5. Remember that no one will remember you
How do you want to be remembered? Have you ever thought about that? Do you even care?
I’m very aware that in no one will remember me in less than 100 years.
It’s a stark truth that in the grand scheme of things, most of us won’t be remembered. But that’s not a reason for despair; its a call to live authentically.
For me, realizing that I likely won’t be a name in history books was surprisingly freeing. It means I can focus on what makes my life meaningful to me, rather than trying to fit into someone else’s idea of success or normality.
Recognizing that you won’t be remembered allows you to concentrate on living a life that’s true to your own values and desires.
And if you do happen to be remembered, living authentically and being true to yourself is the most meaningful legacy you can leave. It’s a win win.
The bottom line
In a nutshell: whoever is causing you to feel guilty, doesn’t care about your life choices, not really.
Or to put it another way, don’t worry nobody gives a f*ck about you so live the way you want to live, and make no apologies about it.
I get that it’s easier said than done but hopefully, some of the ways I’ve managed to curb the guilt will help you too.
How else can you stop feeling guilty about living your unique life? Let us know in the comments.