Dealing with parents that don’t want you to travel long term is stressful and difficult. It can put a strain on your relationship with your family if they are against your travel lifestyle. I would know because it happened to me.
My parents phoned me up whilst I was at work, mum was crying and dad was yelling. Even in my 30s, my parents don’t want me to travel. They pleaded with me and even tried to negotiate with me not to go. But I had booked a one-way flight to Mexico, leaving in less than 4 weeks.
“You’re going to get kidnapped by the Cartel”
“You won’t be able to leave you room, it will be too dangerous”
“You could get Covid while you’re out there”
“What about about your career?”
“What about buying a house?”
“Don’t you want to have children?”
I get it, it was a whirlwind for them and even me. I left my boyfriend, handed in my notice on my rented flat, quit my job and booked my flight. All in a very short space of time. I completely changed my life in my 30s. Although my choices weren’t out of the blue for me, my parents didn’t know I was even thinking of travelling. This meant they had little time to come to terms with the idea.
Deep down I knew travelling to Mexico was not going to be well received by my parents. I wasn’t going to not go, but I also didn’t want a strained relationship with them. So I did everything I could to make them feel as comfortable with the idea as possible.
My Top Tips On Dealing With Parents That Don't Want You To Travel
You’re an adult at the end of the day, you don’t have to do any of these things. But, this is a great start for helping your parents cope and understand your new life choices and ensuring you maintain a strong relationship. Plus, these points are good for you to follow for your own safety and wellbeing anyway, so take note.
- Prepare your parents for what is to come. You need to let them know travelling is something you are considering so it’s not a total shock when you do book your flights.
- Try to give them as much notice as possible. Otherwise it sends them into panic mode even more because it’s all happening very fast. Your parents will need time to process change, even though it’s not their life, you’re still apart of it.
- If you’re comfortable with it, let them be part of the planning. Ask their opinion on places or see if they have any recommendations. You want to avoid ‘You vs. Them’ as much as possible and this is a great way to make them feel involved.
- It’s natural for your parents to be worried about your safety whilst travelling, especially if you are a lone female traveller. Reassure them as much as possible that you have done your research on the area. Show them you have googled the local medical centres and hospitals, had all the relevant vaccinations done, you know the covid situation and booked travel insurance etc.
- Speaking of safety, I purchased this personal alarm before I left for travelling and keep it on me. It’s pretty small and you can activate it in two ways. It’s worth getting as an extra layer of protection and again your parents will be pleased you’ve thought of this.
- If you are quitting your job with nothing else lined up to support your travels, let your parents know how your trip is being funded and what your financial plans are. Again, this will be one of their top concerns and they will not want to be bailing you out.
- The chances are ‘long term travel’ will be a new concept to them, explain why it’s important for you to travel and the reasons you are doing it. This will help your parents come to terms with your new travel life and have a better understanding.
- Show your parents your travel plans. For the first month I let my Mum know where I was staying and who I was staying with, once they become accustomed to your new life, they won’t need as much reassurance, but do still keep in touch!
- If your parents don’t want you to travel because they are worried about you being on your own you can show them there is no need to fear. There is a huge travel community out there! Share with them the facebook pages and group meet ups that you plan on attending. You could even stay in a co-living space so you are surrounded by like-mind people.
- Let them know you plan on coming back, even if you don’t know when. Give them a vague time frame as it helps them to process. E.g ‘It’s only going to be for a year’. Once you’re gone and they see everything is okay, the timeframe won’t matter as much.
- Have a Plan B ready and tell them what it is. If something goes wrong whilst travelling or you’ve had a change of heart, what will you do instead? This shows your parents you are considering all scenarios and you recognise things might not go to plan.
- Whilst travelling, keep your parents in the loop, share your travel stories and send them pictures, they will really appreciate you thinking of them and they will love to see all the new things you are discovering and the new friends you’re making.
- Invite them to come out with you for some of your trip! So far my parents have politely declined my offer, but my friend’s mum came to visit her for 3 weeks in Bali!
- Be kind. If you’re reading this post, it’s likely that your parents aren’t happy about your new life and they don’t want you to travel. You’re still their child and it’s because they care, keep that in mind.
Travelling is one of the best experiences, but if your parents still can’t get on board with it and think your decision is coming purely from a selfish perspective, that is their problem and not yours. In fact, Cat makes some interesting points about life choices and what it means to be selfish in her post; Is Being Selfish Always Bad?
I hope for the sake of your relationship with your parents and the journey you are about to embark on, that they can be part of this exciting time and support you. And if you have any other pieces of advice you’d like to share that has helped make your parents feel comfortable with your travels, please share them in the comments below to help fellow travellers!
Amber x
P.s if you are looking for inspiration on where to travel, check out my post The Best Destination For A First Time Female Digital Nomad.
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