When your boyfriend talks about their ex, it’s SO annoying isn’t it? You’ll be conversing about something completely unrelated like how you did a specific work out at the gym today and your boyfriend will suddenly chime in with; ‘Oh Jess used to do it like this.’ And now you don’t know what to say because what is there to say about Jess and her gym work outs? You have no interest in learning things about your boyfriend’s ex and there’s really nothing to comment with apart from: ‘Oh cool‘. When actually the voice in your head is saying ‘Who gives a fuck what Jess did‘.
It’s not even a jealousy thing right? (Although if you are a jealous person, I recommend you read my post; How To Be Less Jealous Using 1 Simple Trick). You simply don’t need to know this information about your boyfriend’s ex because you can’t do anything with it. Am I reading your mind?
Why Does My Boyfriend Keep Talking About His Ex?
Something I have learnt about Men is that they are actually very simple creatures. They don’t always think about what they are saying and they will just say whatever comes into their heads. Which in some circumstances is good, but at times like this when they keep bringing up their ex, it’s super annoying. But totally harmless.
It can leave you wondering why your boyfriend is still thinking about their ex so much. But I don’t believe that is always the case; quite often a thought pops into their mind and the words come spilling out for no rhyme or reason. When we have been with a partner for a long time they are a big part of our life and it’s inevitable we will ALL talk about an ex at some point.
However, if you have a boyfriend that is trying to make you feel jealous on purpose, or if they really can’t stop thinking about their ex, this post cannot help you or your relationship.
If, like me, you find it really irritating when your boyfriend always talks about their ex, you have come to the right place. Try out these 3 methods to help you handle the situation.
1. 'Sorry What... I Wasn't Listening'
You might be wondering how this is going to help but hear me out. Whenever my boyfriend brings up his ex I make absolutely no response to what he says. I literally pretend like I didn’t hear it or just openly ignore it BUT I still act exactly the same, e.g I don’t go off in a bad mood I just carry on the conversation as if he never said it.
For me now it is like water off a duck’s back. Ignoring something suggests you don’t care. If you pretend to not care, eventually you will trick yourself into actually not caring and you will no longer be bothered if he continues to talk about his ex.
The idea is that hopefully he will get the hint. If you are not responding to anything relating to his ex-girlfriend, he should get the idea that you don’t want her being mentioned and eventually stop talking about his ex so much!
2. If You Can't Beat Them, Join Them!
Sometimes, giving your boyfriend a taste of their own medicine is exactly what they need. They might not realise how annoying and pointless it is talking about their ex during a conversation. So it’s your job to show them. Make sure it’s like for like, as in don’t be petty about it. If they bring up Rachel their ex and all of a sudden you say ‘Well Mike, MY EX, used to do this.’ Your boyfriend is probably going to be confused or think you are acting ‘crazy’.
Keep it casual, every now and again throw in something about your ex and see how they react. I have definitely done this and can tell by my boyfriend’s face he didn’t like me talking about my ex’s.
3. Just Tell Them
Men often need to be told directly what the problem is because they are not mind readers and as I already mentioned, quite simple creatures. If you have a problem, you need to tell them directly what is bothering you.
Yes it really is that simple. Tell them to stop talking about their ex all the time because it’s annoying and also pointless to the conversation. I know you don’t want to come across as a jealous girlfriend but trust me you won’t. As long as you stay cool, calm and collected and casual about it. Don’t make a big deal; ‘Hey, do you mind not talking about your ex all the time?’ Job done.
So there you have it. 3 ways to handle a boyfriend that always talks about their ex. I hope they work for you, like they did for me. Of course if you have any other suggestions, please drop them in the comments below and help us all out!
Amber x
P.s If you haven’t already, I really recommend reading Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus to give you a better understanding of the opposite sex.
Sign up for our newsletter to become a part of the Suddenly Thirty community - stay up to date on new posts and community events!