Do you have some long term friendships that you really value and want to keep, but you’re finding it tricky because of how you’ve both changed over the years?
If you’re nodding along, you’re definitely not alone. As we step firmly into our 30s, it’s clear that life isn’t just busy, it’s a whole new game.
Chances are, you and some of your friends have ventured down wildly different paths since those carefree days of your youth.
Maybe you’re climbing the corporate ladder, building your business, or exploring uncharted personal journeys meanwhile they’re diving into marriage and parenthood.
Whatever your circumstances, let’s face it, you’re both likely very different people than you were a decade ago.
But here’s the good news: different doesn’t mean distant, and change doesn’t have to signal the end of cherished friendships.
In fact, if you truly want to keep these friendships alive, evolving alongside your friends can add a rich layer of depth and joy to your relationships.
Today, we’ll explore practical things you can do to keep those long-term friendships thriving, without sacrificing your individuality or stepping on their personal growth.
Ready? Let’s dive in.
1. Keep them in the loop
Remember those days when seeing your friends was as easy as showing up at school or crashing on each other’s couches over the weekend? Now, with everyone juggling different life commitments, staying in touch isn’t quite as effortless.
But here’s the thing: regular communication is like the glue that holds long-term friendships together.
It’s not about giving a day-by-day account of your life or showing off, it’s simply about staying present. A quick update, a funny picture, or a random memory that popped into your head can mean the world.
It keeps the connection lively and lets your friends know they’re still a big part of your life. And don’t forget, it’s a two-way street, encourage them to share their life snippets with you too.
I recently saw a guy on TikTok talk about something him and his friends call “The Wednesday Waffle“. It’s pretty self-explanatory; him and two friends send each other a short video on Wednesday to update each other on what’s happening in their lives. It’s their quirky way to stay connected.
There lots of ways to stay in touch: why not start your own version of Wednesday waffle, create a group chat or commit to a quick phone call or coffee date every month or quarter.
You’d be amazed how these small acts of reaching out can reignite the warmth in your friendships. Just a little bit of effort goes a long way toward making sure your friendships not only survive but thrive.
2. Reassess your friendships
Have you ever caught yourself feeling indifferent about meeting up with someone?
It’s a sign worth listening to, especially in your 30s.
At this stage in life, it’s completely normal—and okay—to realize that you’ve outgrown certain friendships.
While it might feel a bit harsh, choosing to let go of the relationships that no longer bring you joy can actually free up emotional space and energy for the ones that do.
Research highlights the vital role friends play in our lives—they’re not just fun to be around; they can also help us live longer and happier lives. This highlights the importance of investing your time and effort into friendships that are genuinely fulfilling.
By focusing on the people you’re truly excited to see and forgetting the rest, you level up the quality of your social interactions and, consequently, your life.
It might sound harsh to phase out those ‘meh’ friendships, but doing so allows you to prioritize the relationships that mean the most to you.
After all, when it comes to friendships, it’s all about quality over quantity. Embracing this can lead to a more satisfying and meaningful social circle so what are you waiting for?
3. Start a tradition
Trying to coordinate schedules with friends can be an absolute nightmare, right?
Between juggling kids, work commitments, and personal preferences for day or night gatherings, finding a time that suits everyone is no small feat.
Here’s a simple suggestion: start a tradition.
Creating a recurring meetup not only offers flexibility—allowing friends to join when they can—but also sets a predictable rhythm that everyone can plan around.
My friends and I meet every year on December 23rd in our hometown. It’s a festive pre-Christmas catch-up that most of us make it back for.
Sure, there’s always someone who can’t make it due to living abroad or family duties, but the tradition has thrived for a decade, becoming a staple in our calendars.
I’ve heard about other creative traditions too, like a group of friends who each contribute $10 weekly to a joint account. They use the funds for a grand annual summer bash and donate any surplus to charity.
These gatherings aren’t just fun; they reinforce our bonds and give us something special to look forward to.
So, what could your tradition be? A monthly brunch, a quarterly hike, or maybe a bi-annual night out? Whether it’s online or in person, starting a regular event will not only keep your friendships alive but also deepen them. You’ll be thankful you started—believe me!
4. Make new memories together
While reminiscing about the “good old days” is always enjoyable, there’s a limit to how much you can rehash old memories to keep a friendship vibrant.
Although nostalgia is actually good for you, after a while rehashing the same memories can start to feel a bit repetitive. That’s why it’s crucial to create new memories together, even though it might seem more challenging as you get older.
With busier lives, shifting priorities, and perhaps a bit less spontaneity, finding ways to connect might require more creativity—but it’s entirely possible and rewarding.
You don’t need to replicate the bar-hopping days of your youth to make memorable moments.
Instead, explore new interests or revisit old ones in fresh ways.
I recently went to a “Paint and Prosecco” class, where we painted under the guidance of an art teacher while enjoying some bubbly. It was a delightful way to spend time together.
There are endless possibilities: from cooking classes to hiking trips, book clubs, or even just trying out a new restaurant together.
The key is to be proactive and intentional about seeking out these new experiences.
By doing so, not only do you enrich your lives with fresh adventures, but you also strengthen your bond by adding new chapters to your shared history. T
his approach ensures that your friendship continues to grow and thrive, fueled by both cherished memories and exciting new stories.
5. Celebrate the big milestones (and the little ones too)
Remember when our friends were basically our everything?
We celebrated every success, comforted each other through every setback, and were practically inseparable.
Nowadays, it feels like life’s big moments often get reduced to just a quick congrats in the group chat. But doesn’t it feel like your friends deserve a bit more?
Think about it: someone gets a promotion, another friend gets engaged—these are huge deals!
Let’s not hold back; let’s make a big deal out of the big stuff—and the small stuff, too. Everyone’s at their own stage in life, and all those stages deserve a cheer.
It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture every time. Even just picking up the phone to say, “I’m so proud of you!” can mean the world. And it’s not just about the big promotions or engagements.
Celebrate the small victories too. Did your friend start a new hobby or finally take that weekend trip they’ve been dreaming about? Celebrate that! Send a card, shoot over a thoughtful message, or plan a small get-together.
These moments of celebration strengthen our bonds and remind us that, even though life has gotten busier, we’re still there for each other. So let’s keep cheering each other on—it keeps our friendships dynamic, meaningful, and full of heart.
Final thoughts
Keeping long-term friendships alive requires effort, but it’s worth it.
Even as we change, these relationships can grow with us, offering a precious link to our past.
There’s nothing like the connection with those who knew you when you were young – cherish those bonds and keep them alive in whatever way you can.