The idea of trying to make friends as a fully grown adult seems to make us break out in a sweat. “I can’t just go up and introduce myself!? They’ll think I’m weird”.
Even though friendship has been forced upon us since we left the womb; play dates with other babies, showing the new kid around at school, sharing dorms at college, freshers week at University. Making friends is almost unavoidable until we’re left alone in the big wide world. Then we act like we’ve never made a new friend before?
There are many reasons why we want to make friends in our thirties. Moving to a new country or even a new city where you don’t know anyone. Or you still live in the same area but all your friends have moved away. Maybe you have a new boyfriend but none of your friends like him and now you need some new friends. You could just be looking to broaden your friendship base.
Given my nomad lifestyle, I have plenty of experience making new friends and whatever your reason, here are my best tried and tested tips on how to meet new people and make new friends in your 30s.
Put Yourself Out There
It’s almost impossible to make new friends without putting yourself out there. If you’re not around new people, you can’t expect to meet new people. Be the first one to ‘make a move’, there’s no point being scared of rejection. And the first time you do get rejected, you’ll realise it’s not that bad! There will also be moments where you may not want to be friends with someone you just met and you will realise that’s just the way meeting new people goes.
Accept that you are not going to like everyone you meet and likewise you will not be liked by everyone, that’s normal. But you need to be bold and brave because it’s times like these that make us grow as individuals. Here’s a task for you, try saying ‘yes’ to almost all new social situations and see what happens and who you meet!
Find New Hobbies
This is one of the easiest ways of meeting people because you immediately have something in common and to talk about; you both enjoy painting, you’re both keen tennis players, you can discuss your favourite running shoe during a run club run. There are approximately 1,270,093 different hobbies in the world, you have NO EXCUSE, go find one now! And if you don’t like it, try a new one. There is no limit to the amount of hobbies one person can have or try.
Check out my post about starting new hobbies if you are looking for some ideas; Hobbies You Need To Have In Your Thirties.
Join Facebook Groups
Join your local Facebook group. This might seem like a strange way to start meeting people but chatting online first is always much easier than IRL. Just make sure you take all the necessary precautions if you are going to meet up with an individual you met online.
Check to see if there is a local beach clean or park clean you could join. Doing good for the planet + meeting new people = double win! People will often go for a drink or coffee afterwards, you could be the one to make that suggestion. Refer back to my first point, put yourself out there.
Think Like A Traveller
Trust me on this. There are travellers EVERYWHERE these days. Even if you think ‘Who in their right mind would travel to my boring home town?” I can almost guarantee there is a facebook group for travellers in your area. As someone who has been travelling for over 2 years, you end up in all sorts of random places and you are always looking to make new friends in the area.
What I mean by ‘think like a traveller‘ is researching where is good to go for digital nomads/ travellers in your area. Someone has probably written a blog with recommendations or there will be a facebook group for it. Go to these places because lone travellers will be there also looking to meet people. They might not be sticking around for long but there’s no harm in dipping your toe in with some short-term friends. The added bonus is you end up with friends all over the world!
Try A 'Friends' Dating App
The Bumble app has a ‘friends’ mode, which I can’t say I have tried, but I know people that have. Apparently it is a lot like using the regular version of Bumble, where ‘Ghosting’ is unfortunately common. Help break that stigma and actually meet up with people. But, if you do get ‘ghosted’, don’t take it to heart. When you do find someone that is genuine and reliable, it makes the friendship even more special. What have you got to lose? Give it a go!
People Know People
Your cousins, friends, dog walker’s sister has opened up a new coffee shop, go support them! So what if you don’t know them personally, supporting someone’s new venture is incredibly kind and you can introduce yourself and let them know what a fabulous job they are doing!
People know people, it sounds obvious but use it to your advantage. Ask your sister ‘Do you know anyone that might want to play tennis with me?’. Ask your new friend if they have anyone else you can be introduced to as you are trying to meet people. There is no shame in showing vulnerability and it makes you more likeable.
The world is full of so many interesting and unique people, just by broadening your friendship group you can feel happier and more satisfied in life. You never know what opportunities might come from a budding friendship; it could be a new job opportunity, a business partner, a travel buddy. You’ll be surprised by how much you have to offer people too. Good luck, you’re going to do great at making new friends.
Amber x
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