Is Now A Good Time To Reassess My Relationship With Alcohol?

Did you know that most binge drinking occurs among adults over 30? And whilst never good, the negative affects increase with age. The Trouble With Binge Drinking Over 30 provides great food for thought on yet another reason why now might be a good time to reassess your relationship with alcohol. But that is not what inspired me.

“What are you having to drink?” asked my friend at lunch. “Oh I’ll take a juice please” I said without thinking. “Aren’t you having a real drink? You used to be fun!” My relationship with alcohol is ever evolving. From the humble beginnings of drinking vodka straight just to fit in with my peers, right up to using it as a social aid all through my 20’s, we are at another crossroads as I turn 30. I’ve reassessed my relationship with alcohol and here is why I think at 30 you too should ask yourself “Is now a good time to reassess my relationship with alcohol?”

The Realisation

In my late 20s, I started to question what I was gaining from alcohol. In doing so, I realised that there were very few positives. Once I saw it, I couldn’t un-see it.

After the initial realisation, I gathered more and more evidence to support my new found theory. In fact, I found it hard to understand why I’d spend nearly a decade mindlessly binge drinking almost every weekend. And then I realised, my values were changing and so too was my attitude towards alcohol. I was growing up.

Suddenly it made sense. But my peers made me feel as though there was something wrong with me for not wanting to drink. But of course, I was no longer living their values. It is sometimes hard to live your values. Especially during a transition, as many of your friends will fight to protect their values, your old ones. Some of mine which were changing included;

Real Friendships

Friendship has always been important to me but as I got older I realised most of my adult friendships were based around socialising with alcohol. Surface level friendships. I wondered which of those friends would meet me for breakfast instead of drinks. I questioned if we could enjoy any hobbies together. Did we really liked each other, sober? I started to value real friendships a lot more. And you cannot build a real friendship if alcohol is always involved.

'Of course my circle got a lot smaller. But the quality increased'

I wanted to see who my real friends were. Of course my circle got a lot smaller. But the quality increased. And now that we have the foundations of a real friendship, we can still enjoy a wild alcohol filled night together on occasion.

Being My True Authentic Self

In our early adult years, we have no idea who we are or who we want to be. And alcohol helps us to escape that for a short time every weekend. That’s okay. Our twenties are supposed to be a bit chaotic. We are supposed to experiment and try things and learn who we are.

By the time I started questioning the merits of alcohol, I had matured enough to be my true authentic self in most social situations without the aid of alcohol. I started to really value, being my true self, unapologetically. I no longer felt the need to fit in, hide myself or be who others wanted me to be. And that meant that I valued alcohol less. I no longer got that benefit from it, because I didn’t need it. This really meant that there was less upside to alcohol for me and more downside.

Productivity

The older I get, the more I value productive time. In truth, there has always been a part of me that felt that ‘day drinking’ is a complete waste of time. However I did it because I wanted to socialise with my friends, I wanted to fit in and it was fun.

'I value productivity more than fitting in'

However as the years have passed I am less and less tolerant of this. Now, I value productivity more than fitting in. Or doing what my friends want to do. I no longer enjoy drinking with people I barely know just for the sake of it. I would rather be alone, doing something that I feel is productive for my life. And don’t even get me started on the time wasted being hungover. My hangovers were made worse by the fact I was annoyed at myself for being hungover and wasting the entire next day.

Fully Experiencing Life

Alcohol dims the lights on everything in my opinion. It makes us a little bit less aware and helps us to feel a little bit less. Of course, I understand that this is part of its allure for many people. However as I grow up, I appreciate and value fully experiencing life a bit more. I no longer want to be drunk at a concert because I want to fully experience the artist, music and atmosphere.

It’s not necessary for me to be drunk on a date to hide my insecurities, instead I want to be fully present so I can really experience the person sitting across from me. I no longer value the blurry vision, literally and figuratively, that comes with alcohol. Anything that we can truly enjoy with alcohol, can be enjoyed even more without it. If I need alcohol to get through something, I probably shouldn’t have bothered to go at all.

Everything In Moderation

The desire to have real friendships, be my true authentic self, to prioritise productivity and fully experience life lead me to the conclusion that alcohol doesn’t enhance my life in any way. Add to that, the fact that it creates a huge financial burden, steals precious time and has an extremely negative impact on both our physical and mental health and I quickly realise it is almost all negatives and few positives, for me at least.

But I want to be clear, I am not doing this to ‘be healthy’, I am not resisting an urge. Quite simply I’ve just realised that my life is better in every way since I’ve massively reduced my alcohol intake. I still drink on occasion. I still have a wild night and a killer hangover the next day, on occasion. And I think that is okay because it is not every weekend. It is not shaping my life.

Is It Worth It In The End?

My new lifestyle definitely raises a few eyebrows though. People around me not only want to drink, they want me to drink too. I am still learning to navigate this. I am sure there are many people who will worry what people will think if you don’t drink. And it is a factor to consider. But Don’t Worry, Nobody Gives A F*ck About You.

Of course, it is a factor to consider. Many people look at you like you are crazy, but I can tell you from experience, it is worth it. If you do decide to make a lifestyle change or you are currently doing so, congratulations. It is not easy to be true to yourself and live your values. If you need some inspiration for alternatives to drinking you might enjoy 11 Fun Ideas When You Are Bored Of Going For A Drink.

So, is now a good time to assess your relationship with alcohol?