We all know that it’s normal to fight with our partners and again and we all fight with our families even as adults, right?
But is it normal to argue with your friends?
This is not something many people talk openly about and I think it’s really important because a friendship, just like any other relationship, has its ups and downs. And sometimes conflict can even be healthy.
Today, we’re sharing 8 reasons why it’s not just normal but actually good to argue with your friends sometimes. Hopefully, it’ll encourage you to embrace all elements of friendship, even the tough parts because it’ll give you a stronger friendship in the long run.
Are you all set? Let’s dive in.
#1 You’re not afraid to share different perspectives
Have you ever looked at your friend and thought “how on earth have we been friends all this time, if that’s your perspective on things?”.
Here’s the thing: both you and your friends bring your own unique experiences and opinions to your friendship and that’s what makes it so rich. Sure, it means that sometimes you guys clash but that’s what keeps things interesting.
How boring would it be if all of you had the exact same opinion on everything and no one ever shared a different perspective?
Instead of worrying about a difference of opinion causing a fight, embrace your different perspectives and use them to learn more about each other and the world.
#2 You’re showing up with honesty and authenticity
One of the best things about having really great friends is that you can be completely yourself around them and they still love and support you.
Sometimes being honest and authentic with your friends can be tough because you might need to share things that they don’t like. But it’s better than bottling things up.
Honesty, even when it’s a tough pill to swallow, is crucial for a healthy friendship. You know how it is, sometimes your friend is being an a**hole and it’s up to you to call them out.
Sure, it might ruffle a few feathers in the moment but before long it’ll be something else for you guys to laugh about.
#3 You’ve got strong boundaries
Are you clear about your boundaries?
Having clear boundaries is important, it’s like the limits you set for yourself, the things you’re willing to accept from others and things you’re not.
Sometimes boundaries can be a source of conflict in friendships when neither of you is willing to compromise on your boundaries but hey, that’s not a bad thing because boundaries are important.
My friend and I once argued over a clash of boundaries. I had been feeling very burnt out so I set a limit to the amount of socializing I wanted to do in a week. And my friend Sarah, is a big believer in being spontaneous and celebrating life.
She got a promotion and asked me to go out to dinner with her with a day’s notice. I had already maxed out my socializing and declined. As you can imagine, it didn’t go down well. But we got over it and after it was all done, I was pretty proud of both of us for sticking to our boundaries.
It’d be much worse if we sacrificed them constantly and resented each other for it, right?
#4 You’re growing together
If you’re not growing in life you’ll get left behind, right?
Having arguments about things you that you haven’t before shows that you guys are growing. And that’s a good thing. Every disagreement is an opportunity to grow and develop as people.
Even if the fight is about something totally ridiculous, how you handle it is an opportunity for growth. And sure, it probably won’t feel comfortable at the time but it’ll help you in the long run.
Having these small arguments along the journey means you’re adapting and finding new ways for your friendship to thrive, even as life changes and you change too. Healthline notes that one of the benefits of friends is to promote personal growth and development.
If you weren’t growing together you’d be drifting apart so look at these arguments as little blessings for your friendship.
#5 You’re staying true to your values
We all have our moral compasses, and sometimes it creates conflict with friends, especially as we grow and change.
A few months back two of my friends got into an argument because Natasha felt like Angela was speaking in a way that was disrespectful to trans people. Now that’s not an argument we ever thought we’d be having when we were in the playground at 10 years old. But that’s life, right?
And it’s what makes friendship so interesting! Although they had opposing perspectives and values, they had a healthy debate and found a way to move on as friends.
Staying true to your personal values is a really important trait to have and conflict with friends helps to remind you what’s truly important to you.
#6 You get to work on your empathy & understanding
Life is full of twists and turns, and sometimes those changes can put a strain on your friendships. In the end it’s not really about the challenges you face with your friends, it’s about how you deal with them.
The world would be a better place if we all had a little more empathy and understanding. And there’s no better opportunity to work on these things than when you’re in a fight with your besties.
Although you might not see eye to eye on the issue at hand, it’s a sure thing that you guys think the world of each other and you’ll want to show them some empathy if you can at all.
Developing empathy like this is good for your friendship but also many other aspects of your life including how you show up to your family and your work colleagues. Being more empathetic just makes you a better person to be around for everyone involved.
#7 They help you to get better at conflict resolution
Resolving conflict isn’t easy, lots of people try to avoid it at all costs.
The tricky thing is: you’re always going to encounter conflict at some stage. It might be at home or maybe it’ll be at work but there’s no such thing as a conflict-free life.
Getting some practice at resolving conflict with your friends is a safe environment to develop a crucial life skill.
Sure, it might take some time and patience, but once you’ve worked through it, you’ll feel a sense of relief and accomplishment.
#8 They make your friendships bonds even stronger
Fights with friends aren’t fun in the moment, but guess what?
Every disagreement you overcome is like another brick in the foundation of your friendship. It’s proof that you can weather the storm together and come out stronger on the other side.
And friendships are more important in life than you might think. Studies show that people who have strong social connections have higher life satisfaction, as outlined by the American Psychological Association.
Final thoughts
Arguments among friends are normal. They’re nothing to fret about.
You shouldn’t be having big blow outs every week but having little fights every now and then gives you both a chance to check in, express your views and strengthen your bonds by working through that conflict.
So don’t be afraid to face your issues when times get tough and then lean on each other when you need to – after all, that’s what friends are for!
Making and keeping friends in your 30s is tough. If you’re trying to make more friends you might like our recent post How To Easily Make Friends In Your 30s.