Is it weird to grow apart from your best friend?

So, you’ve been feeling a bit off because things with your best friend aren’t the same anymore? I get it. The laughs aren’t as frequent, and the calls are dwindling. You’re wondering if it’s weird to feel this gap growing between you two?

First things first: it’s totally normal.

Friendships, like any relationship, can ebb and flow. Think about it—have you ever outgrown a favourite band or a hobby you used to love? Sometimes, we outgrow friendships too.

You’ve probably changed over the years. (Haven’t we all?) Maybe you’ve picked up new interests, moved to a new city, or just evolved in your own way. And guess what? Your friend has likely changed too. When our lives shift, our social circles can shift as well. It’s all part of growing up.

The thing is: it can be hard to tell if you’re growing apart or if life is just busy at the moment, especially if your friend is the one drifting away from you. Family therapist, Sarah Epstein highlights a few ways that you can tell if you’re really drifting apart – how many of these do you recognise?

• Neither of you feel like reaching out or arranging to meet up
• If you do hang out, you want to do different things
• The conversation is awkward, you’ve got nothing to talk about
• You feel drained after spending time together
• Weeks or even months slip by without you connecting and it feels fine

I’ve been through this with my friend recently, let’s call her Nadia. We’d been friends for a few years and although we both made the effort to keep in touch, things weren’t the same. Conversation was awkward, it felt like a hassle to meet up and it wasn’t fun when we did.

Our last hang-out was a lunch that was just plain awkward for both of us. I think we both accepted there and then that our friendship just doesn’t fit anymore. There’s no hard feelings, our friendship has just run it’s course and it’s time to move on.

This brings me to another important point – letting go doesn’t mean you care any less. It’s okay to treasure the memories and still walk on different paths. How beautiful is it to look back at all those shared moments with fondness, even if you aren’t as close now?

It’s this understanding that helps us handle the change better. It’s normal to want to hold on to the past, but realizing that friendships evolve can help us feel calmer about the whole thing. This isn’t just based on personal stories; there’s a lot of psychology to back this up.

Research shows that as we get older, we tend to have fewer friends, but those relationships are closer and more meaningful. This is a normal part of getting older and changing.

Dr. Irene S. Levine, a professor of psychiatry, talks about this in her studies. She explains that these changes are a regular part of life, affected by how we grow and what becomes important to us. Knowing this might not make it easier, but it can make it less confusing.

So, how do you find new friends who fit with the person you are now?

It might seem tough, but there are lots of ways to meet new people. Try picking up a new hobby, going to social events, or joining groups online that share your interests. This isn’t about forgetting old friends but about adding new people into your life who match your current interests and values.

It’s important to celebrate how much you’ve grown through all of this. It’s okay to feel sad about a friendship ending. Feeling sad is part of saying goodbye and helps you move on.

Oprah Winfrey talk about the importance of keeping good company. She once said, “Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher.” This advice fits perfectly with the idea of finding a new group of friends who support and encourage you, just like you are now.

In the end, respecting the friendship you had while being open to new friendships helps you see both the past and the future clearly. As you start making new friends, you might discover new things about yourself too. This isn’t just about changing friends; it’s about growing as a person. Keep an open heart, try new things, and see how your world changes for the better.