This Is Why You’re Not The ‘Crazy Girlfriend’

If you’ve found yourself reading this post, the chances are you have been typing into your search engine something along the lines of; ‘How do I stop being a crazy girlfriend?’ or ‘Am I a crazy girlfriend?’ Firstly, stop that. Secondly, I am here to tell you that you are not a crazy girlfriend.

What Does It Mean To Be A Crazy Girlfriend?

I want to start by pointing out that the term ‘Crazy girlfriend’ should never exist. No one should ever be referred to as ‘crazy’. Especially given the dictionary definition as: ‘Mentally deranged, especially as manifested in a wild or aggressive way.’ It hardly seems fair to give someone this label or describe them in such a way. 

I think we can all agree that the term ‘Crazy girlfriend‘ was started by a man. If you don’t know the definition of Crazy Girlfriend it could be categorised by the following:
– Being too obsessive about your partner
– Feelings of jealousy 
– Acting out
– Being possessive of your partner
– Feeling insecure about your partner and/or relationship

All of the things that men can also be and behave, yet we don’t seem to tarnish them with the same brush and call them a ‘Crazy Boyfriend‘. 

Why You Are Not The Crazy Girlfriend

Did it ever occur to the person using this label that they might be the root cause of this so called ‘craziness’? Anyone that goes out of their way to purposely make their partner feel jealous or insecure is the ‘crazy’ one in the relationship. And if we get told we are this type of person, there’s a chance we are more likely to live up to the name too.

What’s even worse is a quick google search of ‘Am I a crazy girlfriend?’ shows endless articles outlining if your behaviour is in fact crazy and even a quiz you can take to find out if you are. Now that is crazy! Do not take that quiz. 

Women are NOT crazy; We are all human beings that come with emotions, hormones and different life experiences that shape us into the person that we are. 

We can be insecure in our jobs, obsessive about our skincare routine, act out in front of our parents, and even jealous of our friends. But when this happens we don’t define ourselves as crazy, it just shows we are human. 

Why We Are Part Of The Problem

Is anyone else guilty of saying to their partner; ‘I’m sorry I don’t know why I’m being so crazy’ or ‘Sorry I’ve been acting so crazy lately”. This normalises the term and if we are using it, it allows our partner to use it. We need to stop calling ourselves ‘crazy’ if we want other people to stop saying it. Instead we can say; ‘I am sorry I reacted negatively.’

If your boyfriend uses this term to describe an ex, though it may make you feel better knowing that’s how he feels about her, it also means he is comfortable enough to say it about you. It is your responsibility to nip it in the bud and stand up for other women. 

We talk about social media a lot in our Suddenly Thirty blog posts, in particular the damage it can cause. I’ve seen many ‘insecure girlfriend’ or ‘crazy girlfriend’ memes, again this is not something that we should be ‘liking’. If we are laughing along with this, we are giving permission for everyone else to use this language towards us. 

How To Deal With A Partner That Calls You Crazy

Honestly, leave them. If that is how someone you love and trust wants to describe you, they are not showing you any respect and purely being spiteful.  Remove yourself from that relationship and find someone who lifts you up and supports you. Once you’ve done that, go and read Louise Hay’s bestselling book ‘Empowering Women‘ for lots of feel good and self love advice.

I am not excusing bad behaviour, we do need to take ownership of our actions and I know first hand how difficult that can be when emotions and feelings are heightened. For me, my hormones play a big part in how I feel and behave at times. If this sounds relatable you should read my top tips on How I Stopped My Hormones Taking Control. 

Finally, If you want to know the answer to whether you are acting like a crazy girlfriend or not, the answer is always no, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Amber x