“What If I don’t want to get married?!”. According to the statistics, you are not the only one. Marriage rates have been constantly declining in Europe over the last 40 years. And, divorce rates have been on the incline. In fact the average divorce rate in Europe is around 43% as of 2019 and closer to 50% in the US. Wait, so almost half of marriages end in divorce?! Who could blame you for not wanting to get married?
The Statsistics
The average age of people who are getting married is also increasing. In same sex marriages, the average age is 40 and for opposite sex marraiges majority of brides and grooms are 35 – 37 years old. Clearly it is not unusual for people to wait longer before getting married with many people opting to not get married at all.
Of course, there are a number of reasons for this. Perhaps there are some people within these statistics who do want to get married but haven’t met the right person. However there are also a group of people who don’t want to get married. And even with all the statistics, this lack of desire to marry can be met with surprise and disapproval from those around us.
The Alternatives
We are here to remind you, it’s okay if you don’t want to get married. We can do whatever we want. In fact, we don’t even have to explain our choices to others around us. Not convinced? Check out how I Stopped Explaining Myself And Here Is What Happened. So, What if you don’t want to get married? What can you do instead? Here are some ideas:
Stay Single & Independent
There is this crazy stigma attached to being single in our thirties and beyond. It seems like it gets worse as we get older too. Particularly for women, the world seems to think that if we haven’t found someone to put a ring on our finger by the time we are in our thirties or forties, we’ve been left on the shelf. Which clearly suggests that we are desperate to be chosen but we cannot find anyone to ‘take us in’.
It goes without saying that this is extremely outdated. And many men and women are now choosing to remain single and independent for a variety of personal reasons. Reasons that we do not need to explain to anyone. If this is the path you choose, embrace it. We don’t need another half to be whole. And thankfully as the world comes around to this idea there are more and more ways to embrace the world as a single adult at any age.
Embrace a Committed Long Term Relationship
It is fine if we want to remain single and independent. However it is also fine if we actually do want a long term partner, without marriage. Sometimes this option creates more confusion than just staying single. As per my previous point about being ‘left on the shelf’ if we are single, people seem to assume that is not by choice. Therefore they don’t necessarily question it as a choice. Instead they pity us and offer to set us up with someone they know (Always appreciated!)
Being in a committed long term relationship with no intention of getting married, invites all kinds of questions. Yet, we don’t need to explain ourselves to anyone. If you and your partner decide that you want to do life together without saying “I do”, embrace it. There are so many different commitments that you have to make in order to make a long term relationship work.
Just because they are not in a church in front of family and friends with a legal document at the end, does not mean that your relationship is any less valid. If anything, if you are in a long term committed relationship and people question your motives. Have fun with the answers you give, and let us know in the comments what you can get away with.
Keep It Casual
Lead A Life Of Promiscuity. There I said it. This is also a totally acceptable way to live your life. Of course, there are a number of health and safety precautions that we encourage everyone to take on this path. But hey, we are all adults here. The point is, if you are actually truly happy and fulfilled to live your life independent of a committed relationship BUT you also want to get your fair share of attention and affection, that is fine too.
Society and those around us are constantly trying to dictate how we should live our lives. If you are someone who wants to get married, do it. But If you are someone who doesn’t, don’t. If you are someone who would love to get married but you haven’t found the right person yet, don’t settle. I hope you find them but there is life without marriage.
And no matter which category you fall into, I truly believe there is a happy and full life available to all of us. It is much worse to follow a path because someone else wants you to, than because it is what will make you happy. I’ve just suggested three really simplistic alternatives to marriage. I have no doubt there are many more. Please share your own stories and experiences in the comments to inspire your fellow readers.
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