A few years ago, I decided to treat myself to the latest Samsung phone which has just been released. I hadn’t ever bought the newest model of anything before and I was excited that I was in a position to do so. The idea of buying something new made me feel so happy. I was excited and thought “I’ll be so happy when I get this phone”. However after the initial purchase and setup, it felt like any other phone that I’d had. I got not additional happiness, joy or satisfaction from it whatsoever. And I asked myself “Why don’t material things make me happy anymore?”
As Humans..
As human beings we are wired with a natural desire to seek. For more on that check out: Neuroscience confirms that to be truly happy, you will always need something more. However we often confuse our desire to seek with a desire to have.
Ever felt that high (hit of dopamine) after buying something new? But not long after the high wears off. And we feel we need something else new to feel good again. The truth is obtaining or having the thing, does not provide any happiness. Instead it is the desire to seek it, that is driving us.
Material Goods Will Never Make Us Happy
Our happiness and fulfilment are fed by our desire to seek, not in obtaining the thing. Therefore, no matter how many material possessions we can acquire, they will never make us happy. We will always want more. I know this narrative has been out there for a long time but today, I am realising and accepting that scientifically, our brains are hardwired to always seek more. It’s part of who we are. There is nothing we can do to change it.
Some might say that material goods DO make us happy. If that is true for you, ignore the rest of this article and continue purchasing material goods. In my experience though, no material possession I have ever bought has ever given more than a few hours of satisfaction. I heard Jimmy Carr say in an interview “There is nothing you can buy at the mall today that you’ll give a fuck about in 5 years time”. I couldn’t agree more.
Our brains are going to seek constantly no matter what. So instead of seeing material goods which will lead to literally nothing beneficial, we need to redirect our innate desire to seek toward seeking experiences. And here’s why.
Experiences > Goods
It is true too of experiences that once we achieve or obtain them (like material goods), we will seek more. The difference here is that experiences themselves are actually valuable. Unlike almost all discretionary material goods.
So do we need material goods? Yes of course we do. We need clothes to wear. We need furniture in our homes, we do need things. However we also need to remember that they will not and cannot be a true source of fulfilment. As we jump from purchasing one material good to another, we feel disappointed, empty and the desire for more. Really, beyond the first few hours, material goods add no happiness to our lives. Experiences, on the other hand, enrich our lives in so many ways. And they allow us to fulfil our innate desire to seek, which leads to increased happiness and fulfilment.
How Experiences Enrich Our Lives
#1 Learning & Self Discovery
As cliché as it sounds, we are all on a journey of learning and self discovery. And many experiences help us to get to know ourselves better. Whether it is running a marathon, climbing a mountain or simply visiting a museum in that experience we learn more about ourselves. And in turn we learn about the world. How does this enrich our lives you ask? It helps us to gain perspective about ourselves and the world around us. In turn, that experience will influence how we navigate the world.
#2 Human Interaction
Hopefully we’ve all realised by now life is nothing without the people we love. And experiences very often bring us together. As mentioned in “Why Spending Time Alone Is The Ultimate Flex” even if you opt to experience things alone, you are likely to meet like minded people. So whether your experience is as simple as getting your nails done, going to a show or travelling to a new country, you will share that experience with others.
And yes, you might meet someone who will be in your life as a friend for the rest of your life. Or you might simply have a pleasant and heart warming interaction with an airport employee. Of course, you may also encounter a rude person. Regardless, experiences provide us with opportunities to meet with and interact with other people who may impact our lives.
#3 Create Memories
Memories. The one thing we can take away from experiences that we don’t usually take away from material goods are memories. For the most part we hope those memories are good. However even if you go on a trip, get delayed, get cancelled, lose your luggage and everything is terrible there is almost always a silver lining. As humans we can usually find something to smile about. And if not, at least it is a funny story that we can look back at and laugh about. Even genuinely bad experiences and memories, remind us of the things we are grateful for. For better or for worse, memories serve us and enrich our lives. And they can last a lifetime.
Make The Switch
There are so many more amazing things that I can talk about when it comes to experiences however I hope we can agree that experiences are much more important and valuable than material goods. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t buy things. Of course we should, we just need to remember that material goods are functional. We shouldn’t expect them to provide a sense of happiness and fulfilment like so many of us do. For that, we can create experiences and lifelong memories.
Why don’t material goods make me happy anymore. I finally realised that material goods never made me happy. The idea of them did. So next time you feel yourself wanting or seeking. Instead of making an elaborate purchase why not take your hard earned cash and plan an experience for yourself? Remember it can be as simple or excessive as you please. Remember to take lots of photos and create memories for life because material goods alone will never make us happy.
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