Why It’s Healthy To Take A Break From Your Relationship

I recently spent 3 weeks travelling on my own, away from my boyfriend. Call me crazy but I love a break from my relationship, and my boyfriend Matt, he does too. And now a break from each other is a regular part of our relationship. This doesn’t mean we don’t love each other or have a bad relationship. Quite the opposite in fact. Our relationship is better for it and here’s why you should try it too.

Self-discovery

In order to be our true authentic self we need time on our own for the opportunity to self-discover. With no external influences, such as a partner, that could potentially sway how we think or feel. It’s important that your values, needs and wants stay aligned to who you are and time on your own is the perfect way to revaluate yourself.

Reignites A Mini Honeymoon Period

One of my favourite reasons for having a break from my relationship is how good the sex is when you haven’t seen each other for a while, and all the dirty texts you send whilst away. It makes for a very exciting and much anticipated reunion. Something that can’t be replicated when you never have any time apart.

You Need To Survive On Your Own

The first time Matt and I spent time apart I had a huge revelation; I can survive on my own. Sometimes we think that if our relationship ended, so would the rest of our world. But being apart taught me that I will be ABSOLUTELY fine without Matt. Of course I would be devastated if we broke up, but it helped me realise that life would still go on should things come to an end, and it’s good to be reminded of this.

It Reminds You How You Feel

Who doesn’t love a reminder of all the reasons they have chosen their partner and how wonderful they are? And the chances are they will be thinking the exact same thing. You will miss each other and realise how trivial the small issues were.

Builds Trust

You might be thinking ‘We already trust each other, time apart won’t add to that.‘ And that’s great you feel that way. I felt that way about my relationship too, but for me it was also a lovely reminder of how much trust there is.

'Me' Time Is Essential

You’re with your partner because you plan to be together forever right? Forever is a long f*cking time. It could be another 50 years of seeing the same person day in and day out which is great and romantic, but also intense. Having time to just be you and only you is a beautiful thing.

Especially after Covid I was craving time on my own, not just from Matt, but the world. I couldn’t remember the last time I spent a day completely by myself.

Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder

It’s cliche but it’s true! Enough said.

Guilt-Free Selfishness

Relationships are all about compromise right? Well, when you’re on your own, you don’t have to compromise. Do you remember how good it was when you were single and could do whatever the hell you wanted? You get to relive that! Minus hooking up with random Tinder dates of course. You can choose what to eat for dinner, which cafe to go to, visit that place you’ve always wanted to, hang out with the friends you hardly get to see. No questions asked and no checking if you already made plans with your Mother-in-law this weekend.

Being selfish doesn’t always have to be a negative and you can read more about that in our post; Is Being Selfish Always Bad?

Time & Space To Think & Reflect

Life always seem to feel like a bit of a whirlwind, and then you have someone else’s life to think about to. ‘Did he remember to complete his tax return? What day is he going to the doctor’s again? Is he out with the boys this weekend or next?‘ Time apart allows us to switch off from thinking about someone else’s life, and whatever we need to work on, this gives us the time and space to do it.

During my last break from Matt, I read The Self-Love Experiment and can’t recommend it enough to help develop a better relationship with ourselves.

If you’re worried about approaching this subject with your partner I get it, I was nervous too, but it’s how you phrase it. I explained to Matt why I wanted to do this and made sure he was involved in all of the planning so he felt part of this journey. If you randomly blurted out you’re leaving for 3 weeks with no explanation that could put unnecessary fear in your partner.

How you make this work comes down to each individual relationship as it entirely depends on your living situation. Me and Matt are digital nomads so we simply chose to spend some time travelling separately. This might also work for you, to take a couple of weeks holiday on your own. Or you could rent an Airbnb in another part of town. Get creative with it and enjoy the journey.

Amber x